Sober, Gay, & Fit: What They Mean to Me

Sober, Gay, & Fitness: What They Mean

I’ve got a couple tags going for me that don’t always rub the right way with everyone I meet. People occasionally make fun of my fitness and healthy eating (believe it or not). People tend to withdraw an invitation to me for a party if they know drinking will be present. Then there is the gay. Due to an age of quasi tolerance, I haven’t received much ridicule, but I’ve been under heavy scrutiny from family, friends, and strangers. How are you gay if you have children? Are you sure you’re gay? Don’t you know your God doesn’t agree?

 I’m sure everyone has plenty of tags they wish they could abandon so they could just be. Race, sexuality, religion, education level, all of these things trap us into little boxes. Occasionally, I feel like just running from them. I feel like quitting my fitness and healthy eating, leaving behind the daily sweaty grind to climb back into my safe little straight-closet and start smoking pot again. But it’s not going to happen.

 I chose to be sober because I hated the man I was when I was wasted and dealing with addictions. I chose to become fit because I was uncomfortable taking my shirt off. I didn’t even enjoy walking around my own house without being fully clothed. I could barely ski downhill without being completely out of breath. I chose to come out of the closet because I was so freaking tired of hiding. I could barely look people in the eye anymore. The lies had been buried too long. I needed to be free.

 To me being sober doesn’t mean limitations, it means possibility. Fitness & wellness doesn’t mean aesthetics, it means comfort and satisfaction and being. Gay does not mean exclusivity, political position, renunciation of religious affiliation, or orgies in the street; it means acceptance and openness. So, what it means for me to be sober, gay, and fit is to be an open, satisfied man with all the possibilities in the world.

So, feel free to drop the tags lines. Sometimes, I get weighed down by them too. But then I remember my reasons and meaning and purpose. I can drop the tags and remember I’m just being open, satisfied, and full of potential. There are beautiful reasons that build who each and every one of us are. So please, feel free to own them, love them, and live through them each and every day no matter what the tags are. If you get pulled down from them you can always remember your why.